Without a Fight
by SyfyRomantic
Summary: Mrs. Hughes and Anna have a much needed conversation.


Reader beware: This story contains spoilers for series 2.

**Without a Fight**

Breakfast had just ended, and Mrs. Hughes stood up from the table, prompting all the staff to stand up and move on to the morning's duties. Mrs. Hughes stepped through the doorway then turned around, pressing her back to the doorframe, allowing Ethel and William to shuffle past her. She turned her attention to the last remaining member of staff in the room, "Anna, could I speak to you for a moment?"

Anna raised her eyes from the ground (where she had become accustomed of looking to at late) to the doorway, "Of course, Mrs. Hughes."

Mrs. Hughes led Anna into her sitting room and closed the door behind her. She indicated that Anna should sit in one of the chairs, and she pulled up a chair to sit beside her.

Anna studied her hands before speaking, "Mrs. Hughes, before you reprimand me, please let me say that I will do better. I'll try not to wallow in self-pity any longer, and I will try to get back to my old self."

"Anna," Mrs. Hughes started off in an admonishing tone, "I'm not here to reprimand you. You have been doing your job, despite having your heart broken. That's all I can ask for right now."

Anna looked up to see the pity in Mrs. Hughes eyes. The care that Mrs. Hughes had shown her these past weeks caused tears to well in her eyes. Lately, all she ever seemed to do was cry, and anytime anyone showed her any ounce of compassion, it was even harder to keep herself from breaking down. "I'm sorry Mrs. Hughes. I told myself that I wouldn't cry anymore…that I would buck up and get over it. I have to accept that I will never have those things I once thought were only dreams. Only now I know the truth…they were only dreams." Anna's face contorted and a sob threatened. "I just don't understand it! One minute we are planning our future, his divorce, a family, and the next he is leaving me— telling me he has to give his marriage another chance. He's thought ill of her for years, hadn't heard a peep, and then she's here for less than a day and somehow now he doesn't want those things with me. If he wanted to work things out with her, why didn't he tell me that when he came back from London? Why would he have talked about our future as he did? Surely if he felt like he wanted things to work out with her, he… I mean…I just don't… I don't understand…" Anna trailed off as sobs wracked her frame.

Mrs. Hughes pulled her chair closer, keys jangling with her movement, and rubbed her hand across Anna's shoulders. "There, there child. Dry your eyes. I think there is something you need to hear." Mrs. Hughes gave Anna another minute to compose herself, and when she was ready, Mrs. Hughes started…

"About a year ago I received a letter from the housekeeper at Lady Flintshire's. Her name is Mrs. Forster—we have been corresponding for a number of years. Anyway, it seems that a story had got out about Lady Mary and that Turkish gentleman, Mr. Pamuk. This wasn't the first time I had heard this rumour, and I thought it had died down, but at this point, it seems it had resurfaced. The reason why it had resurfaced was because it was being gossiped about by one of the maids and a new worker by the name of Vera Bates." At this, Anna stopped looking at her hands and raised her eyes to pay closer attention to Mrs. Hughes.

The housekeeper briefly raised her eyebrows, causing her forehead to wrinkle and continued, "In fact, Mrs. Forster told me that the only reason Mrs. Bates had got the job was because she gave Mr. Bates as a reference. Lady Flintshire new of Mr. Bates from his Lordship's travels to London. Knowing how much Lord Grantham valued Mr. Bates, Lady Flintshire felt that Mrs. Bates would possess the same qualities as her husband and would be equal to the task." At this, Mrs. Hughes gave a quiet, sardonic laugh."

"I never mentioned any of this to Mr. Bates' because I was not privy to all of the particulars of their relationship and I did not want to overstep my bounds. At the time, I did not know that Mr. Bates did not know the whereabouts of his wife, or that he hadn't seen her in a number of years. I assumed they were estranged, but I had no idea their lack of involvement." By this time, Anna had stopped sniffling and was listening raptly, filing away the story for future study.

Mrs. Hughes cleared her throat and shifted in her chair, "To be honest, I hadn't really thought any more on it until a fortnight ago when Mrs. Bates showed up unexpectedly. I was naturally suspicious, and that's why I asked Mr. Bates and his wife to have tea in my sitting room. You see, there is a vent up on the wall, right there..." She pointed to the adjacent wall to indicate the metal plate located there.

"Normally I would feel guilty listening to anothers' conversation, but in this case, I'm so glad I did." Anna raised her eyebrows in question. Mrs. Hughes barreled on, "If one stands on the bench outside the door, one can hear the conversations carried on inside. In the case of Mr. Bates and Mrs. Bates, I heard their conversation quite clearly."

Anna, before I continue on, I need to tell you something that I should have told you before Mr. Bates left." Here she paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully as she didn't want Anna to get overly upset. "Mr. Bates didn't leave because he wanted to reconcile with his wife. In fact, he asked her for a divorce. Told her he would take the blame by going to Malton and well…well I'm sure you can figure it out. He said that they were both to blame for the way things were and that they would be better off just leaving things—that he couldn't go back to how things were. But Mrs. Bates didn't want a divorce, said that she didn't like being on her own. She then said that if he didn't come back to her, she would run to the newspapers with the story of Lady Mary and Mr. Pamuk, and that she would mention your name as well." At this, Anna gasped in horror at the audacity of the woman. Mrs. Hughes' description of the eavesdropped conversation set off a spark, causing anger to burn beneath her skin. Vera's treatment of Mr. Bates was enough cause for her dislike of the woman. And now for the first time in her life, Anna had cause for hate.

"So Mr. Bates, thinking he was doing the noble thing, sacrificed himself." Mrs. Hughes paused for a moment, "Anna, I'm telling you this because you deserve to know. You deserve to know what prompted Mr. Bates to leave. I'm not saying he did the right thing. Nor am I saying he did the wrong thing. That is for you to decide." Mrs. Hughes stood up. "Well now, the stores aren't going to stock themselves, nor are the beds going to make themselves. We'd best be off to our chores."

Anna stood up, her face a mixture of emotions. There were so many thought and feelings raging through her being; she alternated between feeling sick and angry and sad, and for the briefest of moments, hopeful. "Thank you Mrs. Hughes. I know you didn't have to tell me this, but I'm ever so glad you did."

"You're welcome, lass."

Over the next few days, Anna's emotions were a jumble, but mostly, she was angry. She felt such anger towards Mr. Bates. So much anger because he dropped everything they had worked towards and dreamed of and left her. At the same time, she was relieved that he didn't leave her because he wanted to reconcile with his wife—but this brought her back to the notion that he left her all the same, and this made her angry again. At times, she was angry at Lady Mary for bringing a man to her bed, at other times she was angry at herself for not trying harder to convince him to stay. She was angry at Vera for her maliciousness and selfishness. She was angry at Lord Grantham and the whole Crawley family because she had to sacrifice her happiness to protect a family that had everything handed to them their entire lives. She felt anger because John felt he had to leave her to protect her. She felt angry that he didn't have the guts to tell her his real reasons for leaving.

She often wondered why John felt he had to sacrifice their shared happiness to protect Lady Mary and the Crawley family. She had a hard time understanding how he could feel that his employer's happiness was more important than his own…and hers. If he left her over this, what else could happen that he would leave her over? These thoughts and more kept her awake at night and were her constant companion throughout the days.

One month later, Anna walked into the library and opened the shutters. The day was just beginning, the early morning rays casting long shadows throughout the room. The fresh air was crisp and held the promise of new beginnings. Anna allowed a moment at the window, letting the warmth of the rays saturate her face.

As she continued her morning chores, she felt resolve building within her. She still felt angry, but today she felt a seedling of hope sprouting in the core of her being. She would go to London and talk to John; convince him to return to Downton, return to her. She had already spoken with Lord Grantham and Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson. They had a plan, Lord Grantham even going so far as to pay her fare and accommodations. She would take leave and convince John to come back with her, come back to their life and their dreams. She had the weight of the house on her side. She had the will and resolve to make things right, and this time, she would not back down without a fight.

***End***

A/N: I know this is a little short and lacking in some places, but I wanted to post this before the second episode airs. I knew that if the episode aired and the storyline went in a completely different direction, I would never finish the story. The basis for this story has been nagging at me ever since series 2 premiered last week. I couldn't help but wonder if anyone thought to share the information of Mr. Bates' departure with poor Anna. Mrs. Hughes, Mr. Carson, and Lord Grantham know…I hope someone had the heart to tell Anna.


End file.
